the people who let you talk about nothing, the people who write you a letter for no apparent reason, the ones who stick by you no matter what, the ones who let you cry and the ones who cry to you, the ones who understand, and the ones who wish for your happiness. We all have friends. Some we don’t think of as often as others, some we don’t even realise that they are there. But it’s human to have comrades and it’s extremley foolish to think you can do without it. It’s extremely foolish to ignore it and it’s even worse to pretend they aren’t important to you. I feel amazed at every conversation i play with each of you in my head. Words become more important and their true meanings keep me up sometimes, wondering where we really are in life and living. Hold hands guys and gals, lets take this journey together.
It’s our world if we want it bad enough.

merry christmas, happy kwanza, hanukah, whatever you are celebrating. I hope all my friends have a wonderful day today wherever you are. I’ll be thinking about each one of you. Promise. Just watched the warriors. Thats a pretty cool movie. anyway. happy holidays. Lots of love, inside outside and mostly in your heart.

Do you think it’s possible that punk or indie more precisely is dead? When the first post hardcore bands showed up they brought an air of original instact action to the table and lately it just seems like theres plenty of bands that are copies of the norm. Where is the unusual sounds of a nuzzle, the energy of early texas is the reason, or the new dance motions that the faint unleashed on us? they are covered up by copycats and bands happy to play a sound that is safe and secure. Sure every band has been influenced by the ones before them but it seems like the whole punk/indy scene is in danger of becoming as stagnant as pop music right now. When sites like pitchfork who used to report true underground sounds, now report the same thing as maxim, where are we to go to find out what the new sounds are. There has got to be creativity going on through out this country but whose house show can you find it at? What are the new genres that are developing to replace the synth, the emo, the hardcore as the next musical progression? i remember around 99 when so many ‘punk’ kids started becoming ‘ravers’ and i could see the trendy people right away. I felt a changing of the gaurd going on, but yet now the club kids are back in the shadows and the indy kids are all the rage. I kind of feel like the dance scene has benefited from this and the indy world is lost in a sea of megalabels, and publications more concerned with ad money than covering noteworthy bands no one has ever heard of. that was the point right? of sites like lostatsea, pitchfork and insound right? to let us hear new sounds. well now every band they cover can just as easily be read about in any newstand. whose sticking up for the little guy anymore? Who is the little guy and what in the world are you listening to? What is going to takeover and eventaully have me complaing about the same thing about them years from now. It’s bound to happen, it comes with being good, and being successful,
I just wish it didn’t leave such a bad taste in my mouth.

i’m tired. physically, emotionally, tired. I don’t sleep anymore, I’m tired during the days but when i lay my head down at night i don’t fall asleep. I just lay there ready for more. And yet at the same time I’m not THAT tired. I’m excited about the doors opening and closing around me. I want to go out. I want to meet new people, and old ones again, I want to stay up all hours watching movies, or just playing games with a friend. I like this feeling of my eyes barely open as i type because I’m running on three, maybe four hours sleep. I miss being tired. I miss watching my friends pour themselves another drink, I miss watching the couples, and the people who move in and out of our lives, I miss having a late night snack for no reason except that you don’t want to go home yet. I think I’d brave anything just to be with all of you, out on a porch on a summer night, watching the stars go down, ready for more.
always ready for more.

things running through my brain.
kate from lost=joss whedon’s wonder woman?
Aqua teen hunger force vol 4 dvd Tuesday! but i’m not getting it until after christmas,
serenity and battlestar galactica vol 2 out dec 20th!

Bryan Singer wants to make a star trek film! oh my xmen, then superman, then logans run and now he wants to make star trek! heck yeah!
The pirates of the carribean 2 trailer is out! check it!

work sucks but you already knew that. two snowfalls and im already tired of it. southerner at heart
im glad im not interested in the new xbox, would be pretty mad if i bought a broken one.
6 c-usa teams going bowling.
texas versus usc for the national championship. 2 teams i don’t like but that is one heck of a football game., cant wait to pull out a pizza and watch it.
writing new songs on garageband. they are pretty bad.
new his world her world issue out. nice cover by jessica.
boulevard wheat beer from kansas city is pretty darn good.
the color orange.
incompetence
misspelling
artificial heat.
waiting for the window inside the car to defrost. yes the inside of the glass. frozen
thinking of others and then remembering yourself and being selfish.
wondering why anyone would buy a calendar from chick fil a.
playing astro boy
christmas lights
typing
Hugging
smiling.

finished writing my half of the julie jones story which began in his world her world last month, it is about 20 times the size of that first installment, so when they are all published individually the plan is to release a collected edition of this little girl in the wild world we created, but that is a few years off at earliest. Played around with garage band this morning. I want to do something violently musical but everytime i touch an instrument i get soft and somber. I just can’t play fast and hard I guess.

Im stuck on page 87 of this vampire/pirate/anticatholic novel i was writing. Been stuck there for about a month. guess that’s not going to get finished either. I have such a terrible habit of starting and stopping too soon. So it’s nice to be done with Julie Jones. It’s cold on the computer.

past 48 hours what ive done. 2pm,monday beers and margaritas at Mickeys Irish pub, downtown iowa city. 4pm drunken walking around eventually home. We watch my life as a dog, and doggy poo(yes thats a real movie) It was a dog themed evening. afterwards i read this months issue of Black Book and turn off the light at 11am. Im up at 6am, to catch the bus to work. our car is in the shop. I work from 7:45 till about 4.30 and run to target to get christmas gifts, catching the bus home at 5.30. I make spaghetti and we watch the greatest inventions of our time before watching my name is earl. Jason Lee is one funny dude. I play Turok Rage wars on the 64, I got it for a 1.69 and then play ssx tricky on the gamecube till 11pm. Get online until god knows when and crawl into bed. This morning I got up and walked the four-to eight miles to get the car at the autobody shop. $814 dollars down the drain. I could put out a 7″ for that money ouch! Pick up an used blade trinity on dvd for 4.98 and the second season of Forever Knight for 7.98 I vaguely remember this show but for 7.98 who cares? Got to the funny book store where I get Loveless # 2. If ever a comic deserved a R rating this one is it. It’s full of things that make you cringe, and not in the gross way. It’s just dirty. But I admit to enjoying it. Had lunch with Jessica at a pretty decent BBQ place but it’s not NC BBQ. Now Im here typing for you. I will go watch Lost tonight, and celebrate Kill the Indians day tommorow. Have fun giving thanks.

just opened my mail and played from start to finish the new album by Mark Schwaber that lucky creature is going to split release with Pigeon records here shortly. This may be the best sounding, completely thought out record I have ever had the privelige of doing anything with. It is going to melt some minds out there. Beautiful tunes and some really inspired rock songs as well. This cd is what indie rock should be, catchy, yet laid back and not overly in your face. The lyrics are great and Mark does reign in some of the f bombs from his debut cd “two years and thirty minutes.” Some but not all. And the 16 songs on this disc range from full band pieces to soft somber guitar entrees. Mark Schwaber should be heard by everyone. So I will be happy to mail you your cd when it hits, in a beautiful digipack case! Shortly, oh so shortly.

two if by sea records one of the fine distros carrying the cd comp we are so happy to have released says customers who have bought this cd also boughtcds by ultimate fakebook, madelene ferguson, elora danan, unicorns, arab on radar, jawbreaker, one line drawing, and ugly casanova, as well as the jade tree comps location is everything. Don’t know what that says about the comp, but it is pretty diverse and good company to be with. Id like to meet those people who bought those great cds.

o.k. so i like to be productive when im on the computer. Ive resisted myspace because of this. But now im on it and i cannot stop. I hate you my space. I hate what you have already done with my free time! be my friend
here